"I hope Santa brought me my period," I say while staring at the corner where a Christmas tree ought to be
— ⚡️Callipygian Muse⚡️ (@CalliopeTreize) December 25, 2014I dropped burger on my shirt and these cats are licking it which is great bc nothing says "stable" like appearing to breastfeed cats.
— Liss (@alissaisok) December 24, 2014My blind loyalty to Love Actually in the face of all criticism makes me understand fundamentalists who eschew scientific evidence.
— Rye Silverbells (@ryesilverman) December 23, 2014MY YEAR END REVIEW: I burped, there's $17 in my bank account.
— Isaiah Lester (@isaiahlester) December 23, 2014I love it when women say they won't sleep with a man who wears skinny jeans. Gurl, you may not be the target audience.
— Pony (@MisanthroPony) December 25, 2014Ask yaself if Rihanna would fav the tweet before you post it. She wouldn't. Delete your Twitter
— s (@septembawest) December 23, 2014idk why someone had to hack sony when all you really have to do is drive through culver city and listen to loud car Bluetooth convos
— amber (@soleilalaplage) December 23, 2014The "Santa Tracker" is a wonderful way to explain to children that everything on the news is bullshit.
— Beatrice K. (@beatriceHYW) December 24, 2014Sorry I'm late, I plugged my phone into my Mac and died waiting for iPhoto to open
— Toyotajhon (@JhonRules) December 23, 2014The scene of middle aged coworkers playing jumbo Jenga at the bar last night was a solid visual metaphor for Tampa
— Hillary S (@hillarywuzhere) December 20, 2014
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